Bart Barber’s reflection on the tragedy
As I read through my Monday litany of blogs, I came upon a scene of hurt and or redemption. Words are failing me now, but I will attempt to transcribe my thoughts.
“God is love.” (please read the poem written by Malcolm Yarnell, comment #5 in Barber’s post) So often it seems that theodicy slaps us in the face. Why, God? Why Nicholas? Why Bart? (silence…)
Why not? (our silence…)
Bart, you probably won’t read this, but here is my (pathetic and somewhat Elihu-like) response:
You were chosen by God because you get it…. You took the time to hold a dying boy’s hand. You are robbed of sleep though you know that there was nothing else you could have done. You were the one God and Nicholas needed.
You were chosen by God…(this is raw, please forgive me)…because you needed this. You needed to be reminded of God’s plans…and how painful they are. (So cheap is grace when we don’t feel death’s sting.) You will be haunted by this and shaped by this. It will make you a better disciple and a better pastor. You are but dust and ashes, brother…mortality waits for your body too.
Why Nicholas? (I am silent…I do not know)
Why this, God? (Teach us Lord!)
I sit silent now…I mourn for life cut short and for life forever marred by this. I rejoice with families being bound in hurt, but finding love and forgiveness. I stand in awe of a God who loves and yet lets happen…who teaches lessons we still don’t want to learn….
December 16, 2008 at 8:01 am |
Please pray for the Scroggs family and for the Barber family at the funeral today.
December 22, 2008 at 3:38 pm |
Ah…but I did read. I’m far from having our Lord figured out, nor even myself figured out. I do believe that He is using our involvement in all of this to work something good and glorify Himself.
It is one thing to serve as the “agent” of God in seeing a person come to eternal life. It is another thing altogether to serve as the “agent” of God in seeing a person meet his death. God is involved in one as much as the other, I’m sure. It is just a strange and sobering thing to be a part of this other business.
And upon meeting up with it, I have found that neither my thoughts nor my emotions are really under my control at all. But we have consecrated ourselves to be obedient to the Lord and useful to Him through this time of struggle for our family. Thank you for lifting us up in prayer in the meantime.