As I read through my Monday litany of blogs, I came upon a scene of hurt and or redemption. Words are failing me now, but I will attempt to transcribe my thoughts.
“God is love.” (please read the poem written by Malcolm Yarnell, comment #5 in Barber’s post) So often it seems that theodicy slaps us in the face. Why, God? Why Nicholas? Why Bart? (silence…)
Why not? (our silence…)
Bart, you probably won’t read this, but here is my (pathetic and somewhat Elihu-like) response:
You were chosen by God because you get it…. You took the time to hold a dying boy’s hand. You are robbed of sleep though you know that there was nothing else you could have done. You were the one God and Nicholas needed.
You were chosen by God…(this is raw, please forgive me)…because you needed this. You needed to be reminded of God’s plans…and how painful they are. (So cheap is grace when we don’t feel death’s sting.) You will be haunted by this and shaped by this. It will make you a better disciple and a better pastor. You are but dust and ashes, brother…mortality waits for your body too.
Why Nicholas? (I am silent…I do not know)
Why this, God? (Teach us Lord!)
I sit silent now…I mourn for life cut short and for life forever marred by this. I rejoice with families being bound in hurt, but finding love and forgiveness. I stand in awe of a God who loves and yet lets happen…who teaches lessons we still don’t want to learn….